Finding myself within
Freedom
We thought of dreams so fair,
spoke of what was now and then.
Was it real or just pretend? Only time can comprehend,
In the midst of our uprise, chests unwrapped from tight reprise. I thought I fought this all alone;
Well now that I know.
Who cares who sees,
Our time as it takes its toll.
This place in space,
Where we're taught of thought control.
I watched his unique brand, with blood and tears he'd grown.
As his graves been filled with sand, to bury his flesh and bone.
Now transcending beyond compare, traveling multiple light years. Where was I when he cried alone, I was here all along.
So who cares who's seen,
My time as I take control.
This place in space
Where all is one and one is all.
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Comments
I thought it was an interesting poem. I had to read it two times, to get the gist of the meaning. I think there is room where you could expand on certain images in the poem, making the internal stuff come through more.
Favorite Lines:
I watched his unique brand, with blood and tears he'd grown.
As his graves been filled with sand, to bury his flesh and bone.
There is a sure darkness and pain coming through in these two lines. What does the pain come from? Just a thought.
Good work.
Thanks for sharing your poem.
The two lines are about all the trials and tribulations we go through in life. All the effort we put in until our spirit is set free and the pain and suffering comes from not realising what we need to go through to to heaven. The poem is complete I can not ad to it in anyway. Thank you for your feedback