Finding Oblivion

The drinking had started again.
At first she locked the door at night.
And I slept in the car.
Then finally 
she threw me out.
It was not her 
I know it was my fault.
I know I was lost 
More lost than hope.
More lost than my job.
I remember waking up in the
drunk tank 
I lay in the stench of human despair.
She was on the other side of the bars.
So clean so beautiful so lovely.
I got a vision flash by my eyes 
of making love to her 
In our clean bed.
I felt ashamed
at what I had become.
I needed a shower
A shave but living rough
Is a hard way to choose.
She paid my bail and 
we stood outside 
on the concrete steps.
She lifted a lock of my hair
off my forehead gently.
I looked into her beautiful face.
I always loved you 
she whispered
I still do.
I half mumbled back
I love you too.
Tears filled her eyes
You know 
I lost our son as well.
I felt my own tears
Ready to flow again..
I turned away into the bright
morning sunlight
Seeking the signpost
for a town called Oblivion.

For all who suffer loss
Blessings
Jude