Fixation and Evasion

when i stand and clearly think 
of the lack of clarity of everything 
the abscence 
of substance 
in anything and everything 

jesus, it's like a deepening abyss that widens at the speed of thought 
what will i have to show 
for all the struggles i endure 
and to whom would i show it? 

Like a sick parody 
the void, the omniscient lack 
gains a distinct texture 
it gains mass, and occupies space 
like matter, circulating like corpuscles 
consuming 
like ants, to cut down 
carry 
and stow away within an empty collective 
that seems to feed upon itself 
with 
every 
dying 
day.