Floundering

Am I a bitch or am I just lost?
All of this compromise, what the cost?
Am I the villain, a nasty old shrew?
Or am I the salve for the conscience in you?
If I'm seen as bad are you safe in your lie?
Fanning the flames, pretending I'm sly.
Can you not see how you torture my heart?
Expanding the hurt that keeps us apart.
I don't understand? You made me complete.
Now it's just nothing but empty deceit.
The day you were born, my heart became shared,
but no longer needed, I'm lonely and scared.
What did I do? Did I make you this way?
Was my love not enough? Did I scare you away?
When my life crashed, I asked for support.
Instead, in a vortex to hell we were caught!
I begged you! I pleaded! "Now is MY time!"
"Please let me start a new life that is MINE!"
You stifled, you smothered, holding so tight,
when I needed space, you continued to fight!
Faced with no options, I had to choose......
If I chose my man, my sister I'd lose.
What could I do? You cornered me fast,
I had to pick you... on the weight of our past.
Oh boy, how things changed! When you got your chance.....
YOU LEFT!!! Giving me not a backward glance.
You vilified, slandered, insulted my name,
turned it around so I shouldered the blame!
 All this, you did, to create an illusion,
drowning my soul in such pain and confusion.
Needing to prove you weren't in the wrong,
playing the 'victim', your usual song.
Eggshells and awkwardness, all we have left,
leaving me floundering, cold and bereft.
Should I accept it's no longer there?
That bond, so unique, way beyond normal care.
Should I accept it was just borrowed time?
And reality is, you never were mine...