Footprints In The Sand

When you saw only one set of footprints,
That was when I ditched you.
And ran away.
Ran as fast I could.
Left you stranded on the sand if you like.
Simply looking after number one.
Me! Me! Me! 
Survival of the fittest.
Why?
You ask yourself.
You and your broken legs and head wound.
Because you weigh a bloody ton!
What the hell have you been eating. 
I'm surprised I carried and dragged you this far.
Good, I see a little spark coming back in your eyes.
Anyway, I came back to give you the good news.
Made it back to our camp.
And made a call before the battery ran down.
There's a chopper on it's way to help.
Help you that is.
It's one of those twin-rotor beasties.
A heavy lifter that carries those big blocks,
To stop rivers from bursting their banks.
But looking at you.
Maybe I should have asked for two.
Anyway, it should be here soon.
We'll just wait and see.
Tell me,
Did you really think I would leave you,
And never come back...

*
And here is the complete original:-

One night I dreamed a dream...

I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
And across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand.
One belonged to me,
And the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before us,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path in my life,
There was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the,
Very lowest and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me,
And I questioned the Lord about it.
Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
You would walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during,
The most troublesome times in my life,
There is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why in times,
When I needed you the most,
You should leave me.

He whispered...
My precious, precious child.
I love you.
And I would never, never leave you,
During your times of trial and suffering.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.

The true authorship and origin of this magnificent poem,
is still allegedly unknown and disputed today.