for my friend

I know that it's hard to believe me
when I tell you that life is worth your patience,
or that the afterlife can wait to meet you.
I know I know nothing of your struggles past what you disclose,
and that all the intimate details are unknown to me,
but I promise I don't just say it to pass time.
I know it feels like you’ll never find what helps your heart beat
or that this is all there is, but I promise it’s not.
And I know that people can't fix other people
but despite my infamy for trying regardless,
I don't want to fix you.
Fixing implies brokenness,
and implies I have the power to change the way your mind works.
(This is not what broken looks like.)
I want to congratulate you on your achievements
because I'm proud of
and happy for you
(you are never celebrating alone).
I want to listen to your rambles
on days you just need to feel heard or talk about it,
whatever it is that day.
I want to be able to cheer you on
and up while you grow and (hopefully) get better.
I hope you find what you're looking for in this life,
and all the things that you never knew you needed.
I hope you find the peace
or chaos that you crave.
Even if I'm not there to watch it fall into your lap.
You deserve it.
You may not see that yet,
and that's alright,
but you do.

If wishing stars worked the way I always wanted them to,
I'd ask for you to believe me.