FROM SANTA CLAUS XMAS 2011

 TO: TWO PRECIOUS HARRIS LASSES WHO LIVE ON GREENTREE LANE
THIS FAST APPROACHING CHRISTMAS HOLIDAY
AS WILL READILY BECAME PLAIN
RECEIVED A SPARTAN GOVERNMENT LARGESSE
WHICH AFFORDS PRESENT ONLY ONE BOX OF COAL APIECE
DISAPPOINTMENT THIS PA HUM BUG HO HUM FELLOW WILL TRY TO EXPLAIN.
 
OUTRAGEOUS COSTS TO CLOTHE ELVES WHAT WITH DESIGNER CLOTHES
AND THE LASTEST TECHNOLOGICAL GIZMO
NEARLY BROKE THE PIGGY BANK
IN ADDITION TO FEED THE REINDEER COMPOSED OF BUCKS AND DOES
THIS I TELL YOU TO BE EARNEST AND FRANK
WHICH GRUELING BUSINESS NEARLY FOUND LITTLE ASS(ETS) FROZE
THIS GOVERNMENT ACTION NO HALLOWEEN PRANK
NEARLY FOUND ME BEHIND BARS ADDING TO UNFORTUNATE WOES.
 
SMALL TOKENS ACQUIRED BY THE ABILITY TO SCRIMP AND SAVE
A PITTANCE COMPARED TO LAST YULE TIDE
YET NO INTENT TO BE MEAN SPIRITED NOR RANT OR RAVE
FOR BOUNDLESS LOVE SPILLS FORTH FROM SENSITIVE PRIDE
NO MATTER SOME PERCEIVE ME UNSAINTLY PURSE NICKITY KNAVE
RANK AS A WORSE CREATION THAN FRANKENSTEIN’S BRIDE.
 
TRY TO REMEMBER TIS THE THOUGHT FROM WITHIN TO GIVE EACH
AND EXTEND THE SPIRIT OF GOOD CHEER
THAT COUNTS MORE THAN SPEND LAVISHLY AND TO REALLY TEACH
SO CHERISH EACH AND EVERY MOMENT WITH PASSION TO SPARE.
 
NOW ONWARD AND UPWARD HO
WITH THE SOUND OF SLEIGHBELLS BACK TO THE NORTH POLE
THIS POOPED OUT HERD WILL GO
AND THE EXPECTED GIFT FROM THE MISSUS A LUMP OF COAL
PLUS A LAUNDRY LIST OF DUTIES PERFORMED
WHILE ENDURING TEMPERATURES (INCLUDING WIND CHILL FACTOR)
THAT FEEL LIKE…
WELL BELOW ONE HUNDRED BELOW.