Up Go My Walls, Down Come My Chances

They say you'll never find love, this early in life,
I say I'll never know, if I never try.
Of course trying means risking, and risking can blow,
But without taking chances, where would we go?
...
Well he's weirdo, and that's a perfect fit,
He's got these blue eyes, but I shouldn't mention it.
He'd whisper in my ear, secrets he'd never say,
About the one he loves, swears he'll hold someday.
Of course it burns to listen, yeah it cuts me deep,
But knowing that I tried, will surely help I sleep.
This is when I learned, how to move along,
And when it hit, I knew, that I had just moved on.
...
To the one with sense of humor, and a smile to hypnotize,
And every time I saw him, he gave me butterflies.
Like he was in my heart, or even in my soul,
Like a little devil's act, I need not soon let go.
And without him there, I'd felt like waste,
Half of a heart, in occupied space.
For what is crying, without tears,
And what's a nightmare, lacking fears?
What is a home, without hopes and dreams,
And what's a house, without boards and beams?
I gave him these words, for all that they're worth,
Because to me, he was, Heaven on Earth.
I didn't care, if he could play guitar
"It's not what you do, it's all who you are!"
...
Now I believe, love isn't a find,
Because after all that, he changed his mind.
My heart is breaking, tears are falling,
Smile is fading, heart is scarring.
My eyes are swollen shut, from the tears I've cried tonight,
And no I'm not okay, I'm torn apart inside.
Like my old scars just burst open, and they're bleeding everywhere,
Like really I'm just all alone, 'cause in the end nobody cares.
Like I'm bruised and broken, no fixing what's inside,
Like maybe it's just better, to run away and hide.
I'll wipe my eyes dry, look for a better view,
See that it's hopeless, and keep doing what I do.
...
Now it's late at night, but morning's near,
I'm all alone, wishing he was here.
To hold my hand, to hold my tight,
To tell me that, it's all alright.
To listen to, my foolishness,
To shut me up, with a kiss.
To stroke my hair, spin me around,
To reassure, I'm safe and sound.
I'll bite down, on my quivering lip,
I won't let, another tear slip.
Stand my ground, action tough,
In my head; "That's enough..."
...
Then after all this pain, and all of this distress,
I swear, "Not again, not another mess..."
So up go my walls, that are keeping me in,
And filling my "Lost Opportunity" Bin.
Even if I'd find another, I'd block them with the wall,
And I'd ignore the hurt, of letting it all fall.
And all of those words of love, I'd think with that new friend,
Are all part of a letter, that I swear I'll never send...