Go On

I have a bottle of pills in a drawer in my bathroom just in case
Just in case the waves of panic in my brain can’t be silenced
Can’t be silenced by the blade on my stomach or my legs
My legs carry me to the end of the curb and I don’t know if I can make it across the street
Across the street is everyone I care about, everyone who cares about me. It is a field 
A field with rows of family like rows of corn, they all want me to make it across the street
Across the street that may as well be across an ocean, I cannot make it.
I cannot make it with the subtle throbbing in my brain, the emptiness in my chest, the weakness in my limbs
My limbs may stop there in the middle of the street and I may not be able to go on

But I do go on
I go on
Go on
A small whisper says,
Go on