GOD

I hate mediocrity I hate the way it sits
I hate the way my heart beats I hate when it skips
I hate the look in eyes of people that ive met
Making pedestals on the thoughts they emit
It’s like fire
Inside there’s fire
That’s fine
If you look in as an outsider
I hate the way I can’t help myself
I hate that I need others to look out of themselves
To tell me that I am going through hell
I hate the men who pretend they love themselves to find their way in
I hate the way I let them in
I hate the way they pretend to be boys
I hate the clutter in their choices and mine in my voices
Resting in my legs amongst all the noises
I need to get out why can’t I enjoy this
I like the way I dont pretend to care
I hate the way I dont understand who I am anywhere
I dont miss the days when I was a child
I wasn’t awake then and wouldn’t know anyhow
I hate the way the ground moves
Forever nothings solid only smooth
Im awake okay and I can’t say it out loud
I know I am now and there’s no turning back from roots buried in the ground
Whats going to happen to me when my senses deceive me
Or leave completely
Will I go sweetly or be trapped in eternity
Its scares the wits out of me
Are you happy?
God that I am and that I am lonely