Growing Old

God really takes the bloody piss
to make us women go through this!
My wrinkles deepen everyday,
my breasts have gone their own sweet way.........
and as for pelvic muscle tone,
mine's looser than a traffic cone!
'n' yes! I mean the open end! 
but, as I hardly ever bend
it's not a major tragedy
'cos 'rabbit' still fits perfectly........ish.
I can no longer shave my muff,
for holding up my belly's tough
so nature's growing wild and free
and slowly coating all of me.
I snore, I belch, I fart out loud,
my stench surrounds me like a cloud.
My feet are gnarled and bobbly,
my knees all dry and knobbly,
the hair grows fastest on my face
at ultra supersonic pace,
my bum is lowering so fast
it scrapes along the sodding path!!!
All in all I'm pretty #ucked,
I wish I'd known how much life sucked.......