The Half Killed

Solitude is not loneliness
Being alone is just fine
No need to please anyone
To make them laugh or smile
The only person that matters is you
Then why do I feel so sad?
Like a sinking feeling that won't let me drown
Like a heart attack that won't let me die
I feel all of these
Maybe a little too much
Solitude is not loneliness
I've never been one for crowds and parties
A Friday night for me is a good book and music
My parents tell me I should get out more
Blend in, become social, whatever that means
As a teenager, I'm expected to go out and get high, drunk, lose my virginity
But I don't have time for those meaningless things
Those trivial things
I enjoy the simple things
My high are the notes plucked from an out of tuned piano
My drunkenness comes from the intricate mesh of beautiful words of a story
My virtue comes from the dancing color of leaves on a tree to the scuffling of wild lings in the forest
Solitude fits me well
I wear it as a warm blanket, a comforting shelter
To take it off, would be to shed me naked
Then why do I feel so sad?