Happy fucking birthday to me

It only comes but once a year.
Birthday wishes I do hear.
Greets from people I have never met.
Are the gifts I will get!
I feel forgotten, I don't know why.
But on this day, my tear filled eyes.

'They fly from my wheeping eyes as the wind swiftly passes by'

"I will not be giving you frivolous gifts, we have far to much shit!"
My husband did exclaim.
"But we are going for dinner all the same".

'My one and only birthday wish.
Simpler times and friends to which
we can fondly remeniss.'

But this wish I shan't possess.
As my life is one big mess.

Can I remember when I truly smiled?
Can I recall lifes bliss ?
I cannot! It has been quite a while.

It is me that is to blame?
Why you ask?
Life so mundane.
I seem to bring people down.
Smiles always forced to everyone around.
The pain I shield; bound.

I don't know what more to say.
Happy fucking ..... birthday!