Help me decorate?

Worried of life
Wasting my time
I'm just a teenager
Crying
With a knife
Sitting in my room
With a different view
Wishing to be dead
Help me decorate
I can see the colour
Through my sheets
Changing the walls
With my
Pounding wrists
I write
Help me decorate
So many pages
Ripped out
My fading diary
So many faces
Duck pout
My social media
I type
Help me decorate
I am my paint
I do feel faint
But I ask you this
If I'm a teenager,
Would you help me...
Decorate?
Surely not
Surely I'm just lost
Maybe I'm still asleep
Maybe I'm full of dreams
Yes I'm just a young girl
Yes I'm still in this world
I do need help
This isn't the end
Change this colour red
To a better mental health...

So, let's not decorate just yet!