Hold on and Wait

Cliche to say, “feels like i'm taking five steps forward, and ten steps back”, and in a life of uncertainty, guidance is what you lack. In fact, when you focus, your mind eats your emotions, like locus...on skin. . you can't seem to dig deeper within to grip a peace of passion that society won't bend. A daily battle with self, internal conflicts at night, depressin’ and all the stressin’ becomes a daily fight. Gotta wear this smile and be all you can be with a family with a mind that you’ll always succeed. they don't know your struggles, know your thoughts, know that all this shit is what keeps you up at night. dont know your heart, dont know your fears, dont know the right decision for your life… Can’t figure out your purpose, don't know what's false or true, yet you take this rocky path that leaves your heart black and blue… the pandemonium in your mind and the chaos in your heart, leaving outburst of anger and a soul spread apart. don't know the next move, rather be walking in other shoes, feeling like the only one suffering this heartache and blues. a lots expected from you.. the pressures weighing on you… opening books to gain more knowledge yet nothings sticking to you. The verge of tears, voices in your ears, laying in bed.. unfortunate fears.. a million questions.. zero answers. twirling in a circle but you're no dancer, just a...prancer… sotospeak. a young vessel, twisted like a pretzel, you seem so put together, but in your mind theres several levels...steaming like a kettle, as your anger builds..no hint or revelation of what your life may deal. desperation to be successful with no idea of a field. jumping into things just to decrease a yield. trying to please the unsuccessful to be honest and real, when all a while your joy is being murdered and killed. pillow cases full of tears that no one sees a night, fake smiling ear to ear when the suns out bright. trying to play a role of a vessel that is feeling alright, but life is panning out the vengeance, obstacles, and strife. no one really knows your life, just rumors and assumptions. they build conclusions on you like they really know something, frontin to themselves cause they ain't got nothing. your name is in their mouth like an blueberry muffin. you dont know what to do and you dont know how to feel, just trynna fake okay but also trynna keep it real. walking a thin line with our God in heaven, cause you drown yourself in sins that for your pleasure they leven. time to make some changes and do some personal reflection. looking in can be trip but theres always a lesson. God said he’d never give you more than you can bare, so when the eyes are on you and people start to stare, remember his promise and know that all is fair.