How far’s Home?
Briskly walking,darkness falling,pathway muddy,all alone.
Flashlight broken, no umbrella,keeping head down,pick up pace
Strangely quiet,no birds singing,night just too dark,saving money.
Taxi next time,creepy noises,all imagined? ..how far’s home?
Park deserted,bushes moving,sound of dry twigs,cracking loudly.
Footsteps following, getting closer, look behind, a shadow moving..
Rapid breathing, hands start sweating, heels just too high, start to run..
Feel in pocket, shit no phone!,must have lost it,...how far’s home?.
More leaves rustling,breathing quickens,loudly rasping,
He’s behind...
Lungs are burning, no point turning, just keep going ,kick shoes off..
See the street gate, but it’s too late,feel him grabbing,..wont see home.....
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Comments
Hello Lodigiana...
So close yet so far...
If it could go wrong, it did...
Phenomenal write!
Thank you for sharing...
Hugs...
sparrowsong
Thanks so much Sparrowsong, so pleased you felt the emotion and yes ..so close and yet so far!!
Lodigiana xx
Hi Lodigiana,. Ooohhh, I love the way you have written this, I felt myself reading faster as I was gripped into the tale... AHH...so terrifying.. brilliantly done
love
Lorna XXX
Thanks so much Lorna,It's weird the way when we write we have to transpose ourselves as much as we can...not always comfortable but hopefully it did bring you into the scene with me- Always appreciate your comments -thank you xxx
Lodigiana
o my, lodigiana, breakneck pacing in this one, wow that is great metering, reminiscent of the Raven in places, such a scary scenario you painted, the stuff of nightmares really, a brilliant creation on your part but I'm thinking about sending my daughter this poem as she tends to want to walk back from school to her apartment late at night alone in another city, bad practice.... great write, very scary though, cheers poet
Thanks so much Christopher- yes it is a scary thought isn't it?- daughters are all the same- mine thought she was invulnerable and would take 'short cuts' home from school going through quite deserted areas and paid no heed to any warnings until the unthinkable happened to another young lady- she soon changed her route home!! hopefully your daughter will always be safe. Thank you so much for reading and commenting- much appreciated sir! xxx
Lodigiana
Really gripping- slowly starting and then terrifying. It felt almose like the climax of a novel. Excellent
Almost
Thanks so much hun xxxx
My Dear Lodigiana,
The girl was walking all alone
In night's darkness bound for home
But suddenly, another came
Now a gravestone bears her name
.
Love,
Larry xxx
My dear Larry,
thank you as always for your lovely addition which is always welcome..yes a cautionary tale that so often ends up in the worst possible way..the message here is to stay safe and always get that Taxi if you are alone,Thank you so much Larry xxx
Lodigiana
Amen!
Larry xxx