how? why? and where?

how can someone whom I thought I once loved be so cruel?
how can someone I once lusted for have such an ugly heart?
how can I escape the verbal abuse marks on my brain,
the black spots where she made me think my mind had gone wholly insane...
how?
how could someone whom bore three truly amazing and unique little boys,
just scarper,
lift her skirts up and runaway?
how can one justify the need to take their own childs' inheritance and remove them from their vessel for her own personal gain?
how? 
not just the how but the why?
why the need to destroy our childrens' hopes and dreams,
tear them from their roots,
even before its happened I can already hear their screams....
why?,
when all I ever want is for my children to be happy,
why does she come and try to destroy all the precious bridges myself and my boys have together formed....
a bond so tight ,
a bond with  might ,
a bond ever lasting that'll be bonding us for life.
Why?
less than 50 days in a year speaks volumes,
where's all your happy camera memories,
like smiles in the park eating icecream,
or pics roasting mallows on a fire?
where?
where is all the motherly love you gave to our boys when we were a family,
where has your love for them gone?
can't you see you're tesring them apart.
it kills me to pick up the pieces,
but i'm their dad,
that's just what I do.
I care for them and nurture them into proper human beings.
they're my little soldiers and they're always full of beans....
they bring me joy and happiness and you're really missing out,
I'm sure that one day you'll realize this,
of that I have really no doubt.