Hunger and Pain

 Its 3am in the morning sitting here wide awake, thinking about life, and the choices, and all the mistakes I have made! Feeling fn' feelings and not being able to say them, feeling worthless to everyone is the very worst feeling! Hating the hunger and hating the pain and hating yourself for being different: breeding thoughts of hate and guilt for remaining sane. Hating life anymore, not wanting to wake, and feeling a piece of me dying every single day that i wake. Hunger and pain, with no one who cares, wanting to free myself of these chains and just disappear. Learning life has no meaning, just sleeping and eating, giving up on these goals and evrything, alowing the hunger and pain to subside from not caring, and letting all the love in your body drip out through your veins, wondering what the hell is even the sense, of caring. Thinking life is already over but my heart is still beating. No more hunger and no more pain for me im just saying, wondering why the hell everythings disappearing. And all people are lying,  just to get a reaction. This place dont feel like home anymore, and family  what am i thinking! If I am no one, if nobody cares, then  life has no meaning so why am I HERE? This is what it is, anymore its so clear, the friends and family I thought that I had I really never did!! So what do i do, say goodbye and fuck you,and just  let the  chips fall where ever they do! Im saying goodbye, because all of you, just know ive been beaten down so fn far there is no recouping!!