I am my worst enemy

Today I woke to feeling alone and wondering why, like groundhogs day I live everyday. I feel as if I need to escape  or run away. They ask what’s wrong but I never can really say just because u ask I know u don’t care I see the way u look when I talk and the way u stare. I know I’ve got issues and have had them since I was small why are u asking now. Nobody would answer when I used to call.I’ve lost more then loved and suffered more heartache any “ Normal” person could take. I question my existence  and then I watch y’all sleep and no at that moment I was meant to be a mom, your mom even though at times I’m sad I try to mask it so I don’t explode like I ticking bomb. I’m hurting and im Lost , but be patient I’ll get through this storm only bc I can feel him as he were still in life form