I don't know why

You want to be eaten, don't want to be forgiven

Force feeding your self-hated self to the reflections of your enemies in shattered glass

By begging for their affirmation you hope they might acknowledge their crime

You feel you're running out of time and grit your teeth like a mutt on a rope

You refuse to eat the meat of peace and drink the holy wine

Every day's an eternity of toxicity and the lighting of gas for empty chambers

You want to burn your haters but they're in a different zone you cannot reach

And so the ghosts of your shame haunt your home as you cry and laugh and dry reach

You want the wrong parts to be vindicated, the cavities eating away  at a former heart of flesh

You want to sling what you think is a stone but is really only crumbling sand in your shaking hand

You need to be free to see the sun and inhale that breath from when you first begun

You need to dive into the waters of redemption and let the highest shaman dish out your abusers' pensions and let it go

Need to find his reframe to get above that game of the insane that holds you hostage

Just sayin it like it is, cause I have to and I don't know why

One day when I understand better you and I will have a cry and then laugh at the devil

You aren't the joke. You're the treasure that was stolen. I look forward to seeing you shining in the light that's golden.

No shame or fear. . . No more need to dissappear

_______________________
This was a private message. But I figured it may speak to others too. Shalom