I Don't Remember

I don't remember how it felt like
I don't remember how it felt like knowing you
I don't remember how it felt like seeing you smile
I don't remember how you made me smile... Glow
I don't remember how I made you feel 
The effect you had on me
I don't remember 

I don't remember how it felt like being in your arms
I don't remember your touch, just a touch
How it felt like scooping each other in our sleep
The joy you made me feel
Butterflies you made me experience
Being your half and your best friend
I don't remember how your lips felt like
I don't remember the intimacy 
Submitting my body and soul to yours
Intertwined, twisted together, inhaling same air... 
I don't remember being yours and complete
Your presence and absence 
Chemistry... Because here you are... 
I cannot describe my energy around you, how I feel
I don't remember how much I needed you and
How much I prayed for you
Becoming a celibate, I waited... 
I only wanted you, my heart chose you
I might have saved myself unknowingly for you
Saved you as my husband on my phone... 
I might have saved myself for you unknowingly so 5 years ago... 
Because here we are
Is it real? Is it time? Am I ready? 
I don't remember how I used to love you
I can't even find a way to say I do if I still am
I don't remember your love... 

Night and day memories flash
Sleepless night, you on my mind
Joy I feel so foreign 
Tears strike me when I try to remember
Felt you before a hello
I feel chosen yet incomplete 
I don't remember you
I just don't remember 
... But I want to