I Have Become Soft

Riding bikes,  cops and robbers, 
kick the can,  walking to and from school, 
playground basketball,  little league baseball,
Junior High football and summer painting –
I was hungry, lean and mean through 1988.
 
I learned to drink coffee in
college and graduate school
 to stay up late finishing term papers
in the SITTING  position. 
I am 190 pounds in 1990.
 
My first job as a pastor,
morning events with bagels and muffins
and Church bar-b-ques with sweets.  
 
I do more SITTING as a teacher and  
more SITTING commuting 2 hours
to and from work every day. 
When I get home, 
I am a wet rag. 
 
Food covers feelings of stress
frommy  dysfunctional bosses, 
and teaching city kids with
low reading,
writing and
attention skills.
 
By 2013 I am 60 pounds heavier
at the average of  3 pounds a year
over 20 years, and
I miss my energy and rigor. 
 
I have become sedentary
SITTING at work, reading,  and
watching the teli on
my Lazy Boy chair and
eating
bread,
pasta, 
rice and
sugar.
 
They say exercise is medicine
and keeps the brain young.  
Choosing  exercise 
is my last frontier
of loving myself. 
I want to take more care of my earth suit,
than the time I take caring for my car.
 
When I tire
of carrying the extra weight of
a border collie and house cat, 
or a bale of hay, 
or two car tires, 
or a microwave oven
on my frame –
 
will I  burn
the 200 to 300 calories
a day
for a healthier
heart,
brain and
body.
 
I want
to channel
my inner
Jack LaLane.
 
I don’t hate myself,
I just don’t love myself
enough…
yet.