Poem -

I REMEMBER WHEN

I REMEMBER WHEN

There was a time a very long time ago, I had a fear...

A fear that seemed to have come the first time I heard they died and are never coming back again...

I remember feeling afraid of losing a loved one or death came calling for me...

I remember when I looked into my Brothers' eyes and he held a pistol aimed lower than my heart and pointed at my belly...

I was 18 years old and I didn't want to die...

If there was a God I wasn't sure and I wasn't right with Him if He was...

I knew the devil was real but, God certainly wasn't a friend to me...

So I thought...

I had heard of Him weekly for years but, peoples actions didn't follow His word...

I remember when I questioned everything and everyone around me...

I remember when I was lost but, I didn't know I was lost until I was found...

I would ask if God is real would He be okay with what you did?

Yes...

He forgives they always said...

So I messed up not realizing that it was wrong because, I could do anything and God would forgive me...

I was only hurting myself...

I decided I would like Him and the more I liked Him the more I messed up because, I knew He would forgive me and nothing would keep me from Heaven...

Had I had thought further I could have done more terrible things and it would have been no big deal just a new home in Jail...

It didn't sound like a Home I would want for myself, and that thought scared me straight...

People don't have to live right so they do and say...

But, according to God's Word we do and we must follow His ways...

If we should follow His ways and we do everything our way...

How does that make His will ours?

That's only our Freewill...

Freewill to do what actually pleases us...

How does it make everything we do okay?

Why wouldn't we want someone like that in our daily lives for We can live and act as Harlots often do but, it's said it's okay you're saved and Heaven will be opened to you and we hate Him and we don't believe in something greater than our own understanding...

When all we really have to do is live the way we want, break His heart constantly but, it's okay...

Hurt a friend in life and chances are you lose them forever...

I remember when I thought I would completely lose it I was told I had Cancer and there's no promise of life after the treatment, all I would get is a little more time to be alive...

​​​​​​I'm not scared anymore and I can't stop loved ones from dying as much as I wish I could...

I remember when I was afraid of dying but, since I got right with God could it be a dangerous thing because, I'm not afraid of Death anymore?

Hugs...

sparrowsong

 

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Comments

author
lodigiana

A real soul bearing piece darling..takes courage to sometimes admit how we have felt, believed  and behaved, but you gain  that courage to understand and change and move on.... I always wondered how God could always forgive no matter what..but my Mum once told me that because she loved me so much she could forgive me anything ..but the hurt would be immense..and loving her I didnt want to cause her pain so I guess thats pretty much how God see it....but mostly its the love that outweighs everything  and thats the thing to hang onto . A touching and impactful piece  beautifully expressed . Lodigiana xx

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author
sparrowsong

Hello Lodigiana...

If Heaven is real and He holds the key...

We take so much of His love and forgiveness for granted and now, that I have reached a half century a couple of years ago I realized that some risks are pretty stupid and again He holds the key to everything peaceful, beautiful and perhaps some family and friends are home with Him...

I don't want to be that careless or stupid anymore...

Live and Let live and people will one day know the whole...

Thank you for your very kind comment and support!

Hugs...

sparrowsong

 

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author
Cherie Sumner-Taylor

Hey sis Sparrowsong....Oh my gosh how we all have made such mistakes in life and want to feel we are in control....It is when we release that control and rely on God's will in how we act, that we see how loved we are despite our mistakes.  It becomes harder and harder to rebel against God when we know we are loved and our past mistakes are forgiven.  I don't want to break God's heart, so I try to allow what matters to him become what matters to me above my own inclinations...Such an honest write of that struggle sis...to get past the damage we do in our own lives to ourselves....to start to understand what God's grace really is and not take it for granted.  Awesome theme! xo ;)  Love n Hugs 

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author
A Lonely Journey

Sparrow! 
How are you? We missed you! 
What a smart, beautiful, thought-provoking write. Absolutely wonderful. I'm so glad you're back. I hope you're doing well. 
Enjoyed that immensely. 

Hug, 

Matthew. 

Reply
author
sparrowsong

Hello Sis Cherie...

​​​​​​Messages of Marriage before sex is seldom talked about along with many others...

Lack of Morals and many question what's wrong with the World today?

The answer is so simple and disgusting...

The answer is us...

Thank you for your kind comment and support!

Love n Hugs

sparrowsong

 

Reply
author
Greg Etsell

Loved your poem and glad your back
I was going write to you and ask you
what was going on you know you
been gone so long I hope your ok

Reply
author
sparrowsong

Hello Matthew...

I'm doing well and very blessed!

Thank you for asking...

It's crazy when you get a simple idea and it Balloons to the point that every door opens and it takes off faster than you could imagine and realize you definitely need new running shoes to keep up...

Whoever says you can't make money in this Economy is off their rocker and they really just don't know what they're doing...

I haven't even really tried yet and now I'm looking at more Real Estate to rent for short term and then to purchase a different one  but, not to rent or sell and it will pay for itself soon enough...

I have 14 months to do all I can and 16 months to tell the new President Administration I got nothing...

Take it!

😀😀😀😀😀.

I've missed you all also!

I will be back as often as I can...

Thank you for your very sweet comment and support!

Glad you enjoyed!

Hugs...

sparrowsong

 

Reply
author
sparrowsong

Hello Greg...

I'm doing well thank you!

I have been busier than a Rat in a Rattlesnake Den...

Time is ticking fast and when we go Socialist I will be more than ready...

What I'm doing will get me through the starvation period until we get back again...

I will be more than covered for more than a Decade...

Not bad considering I only started this a month ago...

14 Months is plenty of time and I will be golden for 10 years at least...

My goal is to be set for 15 years of not having to do a thing once I shut it all down if Trump loses...

I have until January of 2021 when the new Administration takes over...

If he wins I'll be able to keep going and helping people out...

Either way it's a Win/Win...

Thank you for your kind comment and support!

Glad you enjoyed!

Feel free to message me anytime...

Take care!

Best wishes and blessings!

Hugs...

sparrowsong

 

Reply
author
GREG TUCKER

Glad you are well girl!  I am a 10 year Cancer survivor, so we go something in common. Love this piece
Greg Tucker

Reply
author
sparrowsong

Hello Greg...

Congratulations my friend!

Way to go!!

I didn't mean to imply I have cancer...

But, if I was told that and it could happen to me that I already made up my mnd...

You know about my Kidneys...

The Doctors said I wouldn't make it past 40...

They swore I was dying and on my way out a few years ago but, there's two reports...

The Doctors report which we have the right to believe or God's report...

I went down to 89 lbs...

​​​​​​Could explain why they thought I was dying...

​​​​​​After a few months my weight started to go up again and they said when I reach 100 lbs. I would be in the clear for now...

I have been between 111-113 for 3 years now...

You know my attitude...

I'm going to keep on keeping on until my time is up...

I'm not afraid of death is my point...

I'm just not going to rush it...

I have a concern for the decisions of the people here and the downfall we could be heading to...

If this Medicare for all passes for one thing a lot of people are going to die...

That's inevitable...

​​​​​​If we don't go Socialist people like me and other serious conditions have a good chance to live longer...

If we find ourselves like Venezuela and other Socialist Countries it will be difficult for healthy people to survive...

I missed you too!

I will be here as much as possible but, I have a lot of work to do to finish preparations for the worst...

If it doesn't happen fine but, if it does I will be as ready as possible...

The devastation will last a long time once it starts...

Glad you enjoyed!

Thank you for your kind comment and support!

Hugs...

Feathers

 

Reply
author
Larry Ran

My Dear Sparrowsong,

I understand completely.
I also had this horrible FEAR of dying.  I couldn't grasp what would happen when I was gone.  I used to wake up in cold sweats and have these terrible dreams that went nowhere.
I didn't think it out in the incredibly thoughtful manner that you did, but the older I have gotten, the less my fear seemed to interrupt my thoughts, and today, I do not fear dying at all.  Perhaps I have seen it up close too many times, or perhaps I would love to see those dear to me once again in Heaven.

All my love,
Linda xxx

Reply
author
sparrowsong

Hello Linda...

It's bittersweet you can relate to this...

I see people in their 80's and I try to get into their head about what time means to them and their fears of being in their last leg of the race...

​​​​​​It seems quite uncomfortably true that time does fly faster the older we get...

I try not think about it but, then I have to go be certain that I want to accomplish my responsibility of having everything ready so no one has to...

I also want to leave a Legacy to give a well deserved gift for a job well done...

If they're on a bad path in life well, it will go to Charity if there's no one else...

​​​​​​My standards to receive my hard work is quite high, but not impossible to reach...

Thank you for your sweet comment and support!

Hugs...

sparrowsong

 

Reply
author
sparrowsong

Hello Anwer...

Thank you very much for your kind comment!

Glad you enjoyed!

Best wishes and blessings!

Hugs...

sparrowsong

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