I stay dead while I lay awake.

I stay dead while i lay awake
absorbing every energy in my thoughts, milking every sweetness from my fantasies, absent of time, reason and consciousness.
Staying in those moments like it would never end, playing same tapes over and over.
At some point I pause, edit, delete and redo all scenes to fit my desires.
(Laughs) what fool I am.
Suddenly am hit, hit hard by the reality, the reality that time is counting, age is knocking, events unfolding, things happening. 
All happening real fast, like the speed of light.
Do i paupause?, Can i pause?.
Pause, pause this reality, sieze a moment, swipe it, no.
I dive, dive right in the moving train, promising never to stay dead while I lay awake, to always appreciate every moment, slow it down as possible and make it count.
Never again shall I stay dead while I lay awake.