I survived...

*I think this is a reality for some women who finally find the strength to live free xx*

I survived...

You made me believe it was all my fault 
Even at times when the beatings had stopped
I wrote so many "im sorry" letters
I carried too many pressures 
I survived your many lies
You begged me to cry
You pulled my hair
I tried to shade the bruising 
You didn't even care
You just whispered "you're losing" 
I stumbled because I was blind 
But in the end, my life I survived
You thought you had power
But I seen you as a coward
Every drunken night my heart was in pieces
Every drunken fight I said I was fucking leaving 
My life you effortlessly stolen 
Instead I seen you as broken
When I washed my hands of my blood
I told myself you're just misunderstood 
Tomorrow will be a different day 
He won't give me the same horrible pain 
I locked myself in the wardrobe 
I had 999 on my mobile phone 
I was so scared of moving on
My happy self was lost and gone 
I dreamt of being so strong 
In the dark I was very wrong 
I was powerless in your preying eyes 
You hit me with bottles night after night 
In the mirror I questioned my fears 
And it was the voice of you in my ears 
In my lonely nights I heard my screams echo that my scars were real 
Jesus Christ how can all of this be real as my heart reminds me I can't feel 
Was this the way it was going to be?
Was this my horrific tortured destiny?
HELL NO!!
I still had my soul
A tear shed for me instead of you
I had to let go
You were a monster in my eyes
I climbed from the bottom 
I pushed that red button 
Alert! 
Alert! 
Here stands a woman who is now free
No more tears I cry for this ugly beast
Through all of this i can still dream
A monster I survived
I've changed in my life 
I survived 
Thank God I survived....