I Will Never Know

I'm lost in a world that occupies billions of people.
I'm like the black dot surrounded by colors
I'm the sun in a storm trying to shine through the clouds
I look into the mirror and there is no me.
Just a plain face, no eyes, no lips, not even a nose
Why the fuck cant I see who I am?
I guess, I will never know
I'm like the leaf that didn't change colors 
The Flower that never grew
I'm the girl who wings were shot down before she got a chance to fly
Sometimes all i want to do is die
So I think
My thoughts are poisonous like the venom from a snake
My life is like a race, a constant battle.
Bullets fly, tears fall
I'm having trouble climbing this ladder of lies, trials and tribulations
I set the grass on fire to kill the demons in my head
When will i get up from the devils bed?
Smoke fills my lungs
I choke up sorrow
How long can I keep this sanity?
How long until my soul is completely swallowed?
I guess....
I guess i will never know.