I wonder

I often wonder just me and my thoughts alone. 
I wonder every minute if you made it home?  
I wonder if you if you found peace, happiness, and most of all love. 
I wonder if your walking in the woods or casting a line? 
I wonder if I could have said or done something to change your mind? 
I wonder if your mother were here, would things have ended the same? 
I wonder if I'll ever find peace, without trying to find something to blame.  
I wonder what kind of father or husband you would have been, with a beautiful wife 
I wonder what road you would have paved in this journey we call life?  
I wonder how I'll ever get past this, knowing I never will?  
I wonder as I look at your pictures and ashes on a shelf, is this for real?  
I wonder if it's selfish to want you here, just to see your face?  
I wonder if your better off there, and no longer in that dark place?  
I wonder if you know others are alive because of you? 
I wonder if god knows despite your faults that you've paid your dues?  
I wonder if you know not a day passes that you don't cross my mind?  
You'll never need to wonder I'll always keep your memory alive, till its my time.