Ice Cold
I feel nothing...
Or is there something in this void?
Is nothing a feeling?
This numb, cold wall.
I lay awake at night.
Trying to feel something other than this,
This emptiness within.
Yet, nothing happens.
Days turn into months and months into years.
And here I stay,
Only moving through the motions of the days.
Then, I met the one who would make me feel so much.
Made me feel paranoia, worthless, anger, and more than depressed.
Yet, a mix of brief happiness and bliss.Then, wreck my world faster then I could've ever thought and made me feel colder than ice.
All I had left to feel was paranoia, insanity, and shame.
Then came self loathing.
But after months turn to years again. I began to feel some sort of normalcy in my numbness and pain.
Then I found someone who makes me feel some things.
But I cannot feel the way they do,
I fear I am broken and defective.
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Comments
A deafening cycle. Deep respect here. Such raw emotions you have expressed. Enjoyed the captivating read.
Definitely is. Thank you so much, glad you enjoyed it.
This is such an honest write. I sense a feeling of detachment from life. Feeling numb can make us feel as though we are merely going through the motions each day. There is a lack of substance to life itself. I felt this as I read. A great read. Thank you for sharing
Gwen
Thanks, I appreciate your feedback. Glad you enjoyed the read. :)
Your poem reminds me of a time in my life when I felt so much pain and anguish that I was numb. I couldn't even cry. Then one day a friend at work read to our patients the story of Jesus Footprints in the sand, where you can only see his footprints as he is carrying you. I realized as bad as it was at that time, Jesus had been carrying and protecting me and some others, even if we were unaware. I then knew he would help us through this pain and ordeal and I can look back years later and see he did.
Thank you for your poem, good reminder to me of above.