If I live

I've quit counting the number of pills I take,

I've quit looking both ways before I cross the road,

I don't wear my seat belt anymore,

And I speed when I'm alone.

I cut deep to feel the pain.

I drink until I can't feel at all.

I smoke until I can't see past the fog.

It's not that I'm trying to die.

I have just quit caring if I live.