I'm not an alcoholic...

I'm not an alcoholic, only have a glass or two,
How can you think I'm bevvied when I've only had a few,
I'm up at five each morning and no demons there do lurk,
How many alcies d'you know get up everyday and work?
I'm not an alcoholic don't pull shady sly ass tricks,
And did I mention never touch a drink til after six?
I can walk in several straight lines it's a plain and simple task,
And if you don't believe me all you have to do is ask,
In not an alcoholic but a drink helps time to pass,
And I don't seek out salvation at the bottom of a glass,
I'm in control of what I'm doing if I choose to I can stop,
What do ya mean I'm staggering I've hardly touched a drop,
I'm not an alcoholic I'm as sober as they come,
That wasn't me you seen who drank so much her brain went numb,
So I might well have cirrhosis and the jaundice just won't budge,
You may well smell whiskey on my breath but I'm sober as a judge,
So I'm not an alcoholic but if you put me on trial,
You may well find me guilty of the charge'being in denial'