In progress

Sometimes when I'm alone
I cry and turn myself to stone
pushing away how I feel
the pain is real
Cos it's home grown
stuck in a time zone
surviving on my own
growing up too fast
childhood didn't last
yet I didn't complain
Tears blocking the drain
time and time, over and over again
I never cry for what was took
that was stolen by a professional crook
I cry for the loyalty that was never given to me, felt I wasn't worthy, but I lived in a fantasy
convinced myself one day
you'll wake up and and see 
how wrong you were and then  you'd come for me
I lived that way, way to long
Rhymed with his words and sang his song
I've got my foot in the door now it's my time to explore
mess with his head psychologically
make him regret what he did to me
remember that stare, the one that screams "I dare you"
and the smirk that he wore
when he said "What happened before, won't happen again"  he lied and he's rotten to the core
I've learned to let it go, rhyming my own words going with my own flow
I never got what I needed from you, once I accepted that, the old door closed to open a new
But the thing that still burns
Is how the protection that motherhood churns
you gave up on me with no feelings of shame 
shovelling the truth and burying the blame
even if your doubt was just a hint
you looked at him and saw the glint
you didn't believe a word I said
You got up and caught him in my bed
then went on and continued to wed
you love your pride more than your own, scared to admit the truth cos you'd grow old alone
I fully believe the truth will come out
no more going round that roundabout
I  hope no one gets hurt in the process
the same way you let him hurt me
I still hold my head high with full dignity 
and bid you farewell respectfully