Infidelity

The fleeting years have

past by like a deer.

But I still think of her

every single day.

The first moment when we met

haunts me in my sleep.

She walked into the room

and into my soul..

They say there is no such thing

As love at first sight.

I do not know

or want to know.

Our eyes met and a thousand

kisses exchange.

it was need  desire lust

like I had never experienced

before or since.

Our marriage vows were

irreparably broken in moments.

Secret meetings full of passion.

You were my drug of choice.

I wish it had been 

just sensual attraction.

For that could burn out

when the fuel ran out.

But you saw me

not as a husband or father.

But as a lover and a man.

No longer a label I existed again.

After each meeting returning home

Drowning in guilt

lay next to my wife

Alone and lonely

As a stranger.

My marriage a hollow shell.

If only we could have met first.

At least before the kids were born.

I tried to break it off several times

But she would smile and I looked

Into her beautiful eyes.

And the need for her

exploded once more.

It was she who finally ended it

I did not have the courage to do that.
Desolate and alone

within my marriage

I mourned my loss of her.

I eventually regained my status

as a father and husband.
I even loved my lady

as a wife and a mother.

But never again as a woman.

I saw her again  several years later.

It was snowing lightly and Carols

Were playing in the town square.

She was Christmas shopping

With her son now a young man.

It was her smile and her eyes

that I remembered.

My heart raced and I almost

Called her name out loud.

But instead sat on a bench

across the way from her.

With my head in my hands

And I wept like a child.