INSIDE MY SHELL

I aim to be

A singularity

To be one and only

And rely on just me

Inside my shell

Inside my insular world

All is in turmoil and blurred

Inside my shell

Inside my head

My feelings are in a whirl

Inside my shell

Inside my fantasy

I aim to be in control

No man is an island

I am my own country

I live to be all I am

And I do it only for me

Demons of passion

Rage inside my shell

Feelings of grandeur

Ransacks my aching head

I aim

I wish

I need

To be free

But how can I hide

From what I make of me?

Inside my shell

Inside all I know

I question myself

And I want to know

Why does life treat me favourably

When I do nothing

To aid my continuity?

Caustic remembrance follows me

Memories of nirvana belittle me

Wondrous pain envelopes me

I live and breathe for misery

Free I will never be

How can you escape lingering indignity?

I will burn and as a phoenix reborn

To be the same

Forever forlorn

Inside this shell of mine

All is in a whirl

Inside this home of me

Sanity unfurls