Irony of Lifeblood

If I was a a Doctor I hope you are always getting sick.
If I was a Herbalist I hope my magic bullets and wheat grass do the trick.
If I was a Gynaecologist I hope you fall pregnant just blowing out a candle wick.
If I was a Psychologist I hope your emotional baggage includes Ricks,Nicks and Fredericks.
If I was an Acupuncturist I hope you give those magic bullets the willy flick.
If I was a Midwife I hope your out-laws are thick as a fly ash brick.
If I was a Loanshark I hope your debts are deep like a stubborn prick of a tick.
If it was to be I hope the fertility journey you chose was free...because you picked a friend like me.
by Abre.