It is I who loves thee more than the sun
Italian Sonnet
It is I who loves thee more than the sun
With fiery eyes and golden locks undone
No man presumes such tender gasp of breath
Such beauty could send my lungs to their death
Let’s not weep for sins, but rejoice each day
All the stars the moon and indeed the clay
Let not the weeping willow die so young
Saved the sweet honey from bee’s who have stung
Dusk until dawn, to your love I have clung
Dreaming of a world that sing songs unsung
I, who dies in the forest of your heart
It’s I whom will die in the forest dark
But wait no, I shall never lay me down
Thou shall be loved, to thee I take my bow.
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Comments
Sorry it has taken me so long to get to this poem. Some lovely, very poetic lines. The title and first line is brilliant. What a start to your poem. But, for me, it's the third line of the first verse that I keep coming back to. "No man presumes such tender gasp of breath." Wow Shirley, maybe because it is close to home, I don't know, bit that line really gets to me. I like the use of weep and weeping in the next verse, the alliteration of Dusk until dawn of the next verse and "forest of your heart" is a nice phrase. Love the last couplet. A triumph my dear friend. 🌹
Mr Bernie this is my one and only Italian sonnet it took me 3 years to write every so often I'd go back to edit it there are an incredible amount of rules I could never write another but I'm completely and utterly delighted you have found it. 🌹
Yeah I've been going back over your poems. I thought I had commented on them all. I was wrong. It has been a great way to spend this afternoon. Thank you. 🌹
so beautiful Shirley....reminds me of period dramas....loved reading it. Px
Thank you so much dear Pratibha, so very kind of you to come by and say. 🌹
This certainly keeps the tradition of romantic sonnets going.
Dear Yiyan, Thank you so much for coming by to say. 🌹
A stunning write Shirley, love the ebb and flow of this beautifully rhymed work... a classical gem and a joy to read x
Marion! You found my one and only Italian Sonnet lol it took me three years to get perfect, so many rules. I'm so glad you are here and thank you sweet friend . I'm incredibly humbled you ha e read it. Thank you so much. 🌹
Oh how beautiful! Your offering here is poetry at its finest! Beautifully done. I love sonnets! I wrote an answer to Shakespeare's sonnet 18 once. I wanted it to be in his style ... that took a bit of work too x
Hello dear Tina, may I call you that?
Ah my sonnet my one and only Italian Sonnet, it took 3 years of blood sweat and tears, so worth it, I'd love to read yours if you have it on site? Thank you so much for all your very kind reviews dear Being Me. 🌹 💜
Of course you can! Yes, this is a wonderful sonnet. It does the form complete justice! 3 years? Gosh. You sound like me. Some poems have spent years on the back burner, some others about an hour. Yes, my shakespearean sonnet is the last one on page two. "Being Me does Shakespeare." I wrote it as if it was written at the time ... an actual answer to Shakespears sonnet xx