Jigsaw of hurt

Jigsaws of hurt

Don't ever say it's not that hard
Try a mile in my shoes and you'll fall in a yard
Still I go were the reaper fears to tread
You've got to be smart and stay one step ahead
One more down on his luck civilian 
Drinking and working into oblivion
Keep adding to the words, add to the letters
Poems of the past and present 
Personal vendettas 
It's hard to feel fine when flashbacks keep flashing forgotten memory's that we cherish
Once they were heavenly but now there hellish 
Distant happy memory's that I wish to forget  
The thoughts unreasonable 
The temptation of my self-destruction is looking more and more appeasable
No rest or sleep can cure my tiredness
I'm sick of been up all night 
Sick of trying
Please don't ask me if I'm ok 
I'm fed up of lying
I sleep to escape reality
But the world leaves me behind 
I admire the people that go through a lot close to dying
Yet still gain there balance and keeping trying
Because lately 
Every breath is a battle
Every thought is a war
I'm already broken and bleeding inside
I can't go on anymore
I need a break from the constant loneliness that consumes 
I'm not as strong as everyone assumes
I just put on a song
Ear phones in, volume up
Ignore the earth
Regret the day my mother gave birth
Anxiety, depression, stress, paranoia, pistanthrophobia 
Life's shit
But isn't it sad when you've been hurt so much you can say I'm used to it
 I feel vulnerable and tender
It's hard to forget someone that gave you so much to remember