Killing Kind of Love

Please tell me what love feels like,

I don’t know what this is all about.

But my heart feels like it’s breaking,

As you try so hard to push me out.

I don’t know what to do to make it feel right.

Although it hurts so much I can’t give up the fight.

I’m killing myself, loving you on your cold and lonely night.

The world has gotten so much bigger now,

I thought you would be here when I’m afraid.

My body feels so much sicker now,

Missing that sweet love we always made.

I still don’t know what to do to make it all feel right.

And even though it hurts so much I still can’t give up this fight.

I know I will always be killing myself, loving you on this dark and lonely night.

My mind draws a big black blank,

I can’t win, I can’t even compete.

There’s always going to be something so much better.

My heart will always be filled with jealousy’s green raging heat.

I don’t know if this is ever going to all feel right.

It hurts way too much, but I am too stubborn to give up the fight.

So, I slowly kill myself, loving you on my own cold and lonely night.

I got to accept I will never be the one you crave.

I can never be beautiful or sexier than all the rest.

Forever I am an untrusting child of hurt and depression,

Always the last picked, always the perpetual second best.

I have been trying so hard to make this all feel right.

But I know eventually I am going to have to give up this fight.

Because it might not be worth killing myself, loving you on a lonely night.

Love will always be an unequal scale,

It will always be a bloody battlefield.

But I concede and I surrender,

At the end of your sword I throw down my shield.

Because there’s nothing else I can do to make this feel right.

All that’s left is to just give up the fight.

And walk alone, dead inside, from loving you through the dark and lonely night.