Late Night

It’s late at night and everyone’s asleep

The lights are all out and the only sound comes from my breathing

This is the only time it’s safe enough to let go of my imagination.

Images fade,

And the people that I became best friends with slowly disappear

People that don’t even exist know me better then I know myself and that’s sad.

They give me refuge

From the harsh home that is my reality.

They are my friends and I know you may not understand me.

I’m sorry.

I have to let them go at night and let it all sink in

Everything just sinks in at once and the tears come flowing non stop

It hurts.

It hurts to have it feel like your heart gets torn out of your chest

And then sitting in the darkness of my room

I stare at nothing but the wall as it all comes back to me to haunt me.

Tears run down my cheeks staining the pillow under my head

Each drop filled with a thousand feelings that I have to keep hidden from them

They will hurt me if they ever found out

You don’t understand what it’s like to feel so much you go completely numb.

You want to forget.

The feeling of losing control as you forget who you are and become something else

Because if they knew the truth they wouldn’t love you

They would call you names horrible ones

Worse then what they call you now.

Never will they understand how much pain one person can be in

Even if they are physically smiling you never know

You don’t care enough to find out

Find out what horrors lie behind this broken heart you call her an attention whore

Just for being who she is

You expect me to say I’m sorry for being the way I am

Yet you won't apologize for making me this way?

What a cruel joke

It isn’t funny

You expect me to tell you who I am when really all you need to do is look me in the eye

Then you would see past the smile I plaster on my face

You would see past all the lies I throw at you

But you don’t

You just take my word for it and move on

You leave me to fight this battle alone with only my bare hands as weapons

You let me lose.

I guess it’s okay.

I’ll just wait for night time to come again so I can let it all out

I’ll wait long enough for that.