Letting you go

Do you know what it's like to hold it in your hands
to have to let go of it before you can understand. 
My fingers ran numb to the palm of my hands, 
like watching time by the grains of sand
and to answer your question, no, this was never the plan
because back then it seemed I was only a just a fan.
Now the feelings just rush like an unopened can.
So, please just help me I feel like i'm in a jam
confused in life I roam this land.
I'm sitting pretty while wobbling on this strand.
I can't help but feel this was a little unplanned
and while you reach for me I begin to stand 
because I know in the end I have the upper hand
I've condoned my feelings like a steel band
I've taught myself better I know I can withstand
You are deceiving and no longer a man
but a child with lessons to be remand.