Live a lie.

My stomach feels sick. 
Like a knot I can't unravel.
I'm doing my best to ignore all of this. 
I refuse to let my mind wander.
Everything in me wants to scream 
I want to cry out
Because I've been living in this pain. 
You told me everything is okay. 
Deep down I know it is,
But it's so hard to tell your mind
To quit talking and to start being kind.
I'm doing my best I tell you.
I have dreams of it.
I picture you. 
I hear you telling me the truth. 
I wish you didn't. 
I wish it was out of head. 
Because right now I'd rather be dead. 
Please just tell me a lie
I'm begging you don't make me live like a this.