Looking back

           
This. Poem is dedicated to Cappblanks. Hypocrite not.

I sit here so often late at night
Looking back at years gone by you see
Decisions and memories so many
Painting as it sets my mind free

From the very beginning it was hard
Not a childhood you'd relish to share
Terrified of a man, pure evil
A man never able to care

Ruled day after day by terror
No let up from violence and fear
A childhood dominated by alcohol
And a father who drank too much beer

Listening at night as he beat her
Too scared to breathe or even look
Holding onto each other tightly
Hour after hour it took

Never daring to cry, frozen like ice
Praying for the punches to stop
A silence two children learned quickly
For if they cried a beating they got

Childhood memories overcast by the dark
Coloured by an indescribable foe
Memories locked away in my mind
Where even my subconscious dare not go

13 years night after night of suffering
Then that fateful night occurred
I stood in front of my father
To protect him? Don't be absurd

With a knife in her hand and murder her intent
The last beating had been one too much
But it wasn't him I was protecting
As I knew me she would not touch

I had to protect my mother
And stop her from an act she'd regret
For a sentence she'd face for certain
If at her hands his ending he met

Homeless for months
Walking the streets were we
But our minds were at peace
We were happy and free

I'm not saying it was easy
Life back then was so very tough
But we always had each other
And somehow this was enough

Soon into adults we grew
With families of our own
Many ups and downs we faced
Any adversity soon overthrown

But I know they're still there
In the back of my mind
Nightmare from my childhood
That I hope never to find

There's only one person left now
Who suffered long ago like me
Who is always there when I need him
He is my brother you see

And no amount of distance
Or miles of roads between us
Will ever be too far or to many
To stop that closeness because

Once a long time long ago
In the darkest of nights
We held onto each other
To overcome terror and fright