Looking back

Days clouded by darkness sometimes tend to make us think

When we know the end is coming soon for a loved one in our midst.

What could I have done to make a better life?

As I struggle for memories to make myself feel better in a whirlpool of love and regret

Its not your fault, its not your fault I repeat it to myself

For I know that jaded moments were a conglomerate of events from many people but I just chose to pick it as mine

But in the hazy regret of remembering and through the tearful coated eyes I manage to catch a glimpse of something else that's mine

Something fun, shiny and fine

More inspection, more delivery, more moments of happiness and love weave through the cloudiness and strike my mind like a car crash

See, it was my fault, I was involved in them, in making them happen

My memories of Dad have changed now, been released. He knew all the time.

He's a man like me, but his dreams will fade away in the coming hours and his are happier than mine because he has been through this before, with his father.

It's as if he has passed the gauntlet, unknowingly and yet he can sense it.

He can't talk but his persuading, tired eyes show more than he ever said.

In this day clouded with darkness, his love has shone through

I will miss you Dad, but thank you, thank you.