Looking Forward Looking Back

When I was so much younger, I looked forward to my senior years;
I made plans for a happy future, all sunshine, never tears!
Some of them transpired, while others fruition was denied;
Yet I handled my adversity much better then, I almost never cried!
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But now, as a septuagenarian, seven decades into my life;
I mostly am looking backward, affected by my failures and my strife!
I castigate myself for misgivings from my past, that should not have been;
I beg for God’s forgiveness, to cleanse me of my sins!
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The laughter that always flowed from me, now has turned to tears;
These recriminations haunt me, from my olden mistaken years!
I try to think more positive, but my guilt supercedes my high;
And then the floodgates open, and all I do is cry!
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Forwards and backwards
All too soon the years passed
My future so bleak