Lost

Look me in the eyes high as hell
And said I’ve never said this lemme tell
“ I love you chocolate please , will you do me the honor and marry me “
I said yes but but was a drunken mess
We got loud triggered my exes and bam
I thought I had love but felt played like a sim
Now I’m doing what I can
Telling myself I never need a man
But as I lye at night
Wishing you held me right
I’m giving up on the fight
Ima loose my mind cuz
Im not the main
 I wish you never came
I wanna be first not
Second the worse
But she beat me too it
I’ll forever lose it
I drink daily yes booze
So I can snooze
Cuz that bitch has what I’ll never get
Your 1st of many seeds
Part of why I used to cut daily
But hey she a Lucifer  not Eboni