Lost in Life

Deep in my memory burned

by life’s branding iron onto my soul

it will always remain bittersweet.

Never in shame never in pride.

Some things happen without a plan

she walked into the room

I can see her now after all this time.

Those sparkling eyes, grey

and speckled with blue.

The smile that flickered as she saw me.

Was it recognition from a past life?

Our vows meaningless and broken.

Clandestine meetings that consumed me.

Returning to my marriage bed sad and lonely.

She saw me as man

not a father or husband.

So beautiful

so absolutely breathtaking.

Why could we not have met earlier

at least before the children were born.

I wish it was just sensual desire

It was deeper and more intense than that.

I knew it was wrong but was powerless

an addiction I could not fight.

It was she that finally ended it

I had no strength to do that.

I mourned her loss in desolation

Eventually I even loved my lady again

as a mother and a wife

but never as a woman.

I saw her again many years later

It was just before the holidays

The snow falling like down feathers.

She was with her son now a young man

I heard the tinkle of her laugh

like windchimes

And saw those eyes

like sparkling diamond’s.

I just stopped myself from calling

out her name in joy

Instead sitting on

a park bench in the falling snow

I wept like a child.