love is funny...

Love is funny

When I started knowing about this emotion was through you, the butterflies like they say, where eating away in my stomach. All my mind was thinking... was you, it’s like the whole world would stop and all I saw was you;  through the mist of dark uncertainties of life, she brought light into the cave, were firey desires are appreciated; clouded images of who and what this emotion has done to those I know became irrelevant...  

Imagination ran wild, like a horse in the open lands of fielded roses.... mahogany fantasies, like you sick and I am the patience, like I am love thirst and you are my fountain of youth, like slow dancing to  our beating hearts, like peter pan and you my neverland....  thinking how she is so perfectly made; thinking if I were to wake next to her every day, blessings would have truly found a definition.

Scripting out my dreams of our relationship was like Michael Angelo painting the 16 Chapels; irony hits the dome of my thought process..... As I wrote.... 16 things I loved about you; the canvas that is you.... the modern MONA LISA, hung on the walls of dreams... How sleeping became beautiful, how waking up to seeing you; even from a distance for instance, when you walked to your classes on the other side of school, was an awesome experience.  And when the script is done, it becomes a prescription to chill your soul.

Her smile, her eyes, her walk, her talk, her voice her, her .........

Somehow, some way, we became involved, became a couple, my dreams became true, your dream of finding he who will love you no matter what trails or tribulations; became true.

 I swear sex was not part of the love I had for you, I just wanted to know you; know what makes you smile, laugh, happy, angry, your favorite color, your silly side, all the pains you have been through, your goals, ambitions, how you see yourself in the future, why act the way you do, what love means to you, your favourite heels, the name of your make up kit, what you dream about when you sleep, what you consider a bad/good movie etc.... but I am a  man with edges like any other man, but different. When she said, she decided to save the remainder of her purity for marriage, I respected that.. Matter of a fact I could already hear the wedding bells, you in a white dress, me in a suit with timberlands on (keeping it gangsta)

Shit love was amazing, kisses and hugs, romantic displays; dinners, roses for valentine’s day,  calls when ever, just to say I’m thinking about you, blanket curdles..... etc

The funny thing is; where love lives, pain is next door, where good inhales, bad exhales.

She didn’t tell me she was only doing this love shit for the moment, she didn’t tell me she was thinking of finding another me, she didn’t tell me it would hurt like hell when we break up. She didn’t.......

I have been in much fist fights; I have wrestled with bears, brought down giants....

But a break up is the hardest fist which hits you; you don’t get knocked out yeah, but the punch is hard, and it hurts; all it causes is internal bleeding.  So you can act like you fine, make the brothers believe you got through it, you over her,  hit the clubs, drink your livers out, smoke.... life goes on.... but

Does it, as you sleep; the thought of her now haunts you, the bogie man has just came out the closet; you thinking about her more than ever now. Every action is her, either about her or because of her.

As you walk.... memories hit you like head lights to a dare, you thinking this and that. Thoughts of her are like lightning strikes, shocking your whole body, as actions you do are beyond your control, shit like crying, shit like accidentally burning yourself as you smoke, bringing the wrong textbooks to classes, not wanting to be around people, cause you ever know if you gonna do something, say something, which will give way the fact that man... you aint over this girl. 

But I swear thoughts of her are better, then seeing her, as she walks by like nothing happened, you ask yourself... why is she not feeling the same way I’m feeling, is she not hurting? Is she not crying? Is she????

Then your questions are answered by the sight of her holding his hand..... i guess Stellar got a new groove.......

Where love itches you cannot scratch, where pain lives, your soul dies....

As you tell yourself you will never love anyone ever again, hate comes, you are fragile, more heartless than ever, you are a beast, you are the man, you have had a lot of girls before her.... this is all the shit you tell yourself... but you don’t believe it cause you can’t stop thinking about you, thinking him and her, thinking of what to do now, walking up and down in your room, punching doors, asking yourself should I call her? Should I fight for her?, but the main question you concerned about is... Will I ever get over this..

The funny thing about love is, no matter how much pain, hate,  jealously, envy, betrayal, revenge, regret etc.... it brings

The funny thing is that.... it’s beautiful

Its B-eyond E-cstasy A-s yo-U T-ell I F-uck yo-U L-ove me,

It’s like the confirmation, Muhammad Ali had; that he is the greatest boxer after beating Foreman.

It’s like the confirmation, Martin Luther King had of change being on the way; when all those people walked behind him in the civil rights march. The confirmation that someone cares about you, the confirmation that you will not die alone....

But they most funniest thing is that....

If I were to die now, and come back in a new form of me, and still have all my memories, permanent scars, infinite strikes of my past life; knowing how love is, how it hurts, as well as the guiding voices of  cupid, telling me not to love any one like her  etc.... I would still choose her...

Cause love is funny like that

 Lebron Spirits