Poem -
Loves Demise
(Shakespearean Sonnet)
This Love, an open vein, bleeds empty words;
Lying words mid the flickering ashes
Wing into the air and dive like birds
Bound to drop as smoking black flashes!
I must take my beating heart in my teeth
To escape your talons filled with lies
Doubtless a poison that you would bequeath
For you heartily seek Love's demise!
Remember when we pursued pleasure
Not caring who witnessed our lust?
Now you flick me away at your leisure
I've become a minuscule speck of dust!
Your serrated smile you threw like a dart!
Yet I can't abandon you in my heart!
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Comments
Oh...I love this! It is beautifully written.
I love these lines, they describe perfectly the pain of loving someone who has hurt you x
Being Me...
Thank you so much for your encouraging comments! I have been away from Cosmo for a while but it is never too late to begin again. I write from experience and some experiences were difficult to live through...but I survived and have become stronger.
val
wow I loved all this, but that was a killer moment right there. I have suffered this relationship and felt your pain in every well versed word. Great piece
Gwendoline!
Hi! So glad you took the time to read this poem. Although I am not a stranger to Cosmo, I have been absent for a while. I am so glad to return and receive encouraging comments like yours! Yes, this poem represents a personal experience. It was extremely painful and I hope to never, ever experience such devastating emotions again.
Thank you!
val
Oh My Goodness VALERIE!!
This is so brilliantly executed...... those images early in the poem...... of the open veins bleeding empty words...... of the lies flickering as ashes...... and then pounced upon with ~
~ "I must take my beating heart in my teeth
To escape your talons filled with lies...."
This is MORE than a wounded person's poetic regret/pain expressed...... it is a STUNNINGLY well crafted poetic narrative...... delivered in the body of a ~ What is that rhyme scheme called? ~ A,B,A,B, C,D,C,D, E,F,E,F, G,G..... it's a truly fine piece of VERY well considered and BEAUTIFULLY delivered poetic intent!!....... you're such a gifted writer...... Cosmo really does have some excellent poets..... this is, like the 3rd or 4th PIN I'm giving out today!!......ALWAYS a pleasure to read your work dear poet sister!!......ALL STARS & PINNED!!....... Bravo.......LOVE & ROCKETS!!........T xo. : )
Hi Tony!!!
I am so especially glad to hear from you! I appreciate your comments so much. You know how much I love to write...I don't know what I would do if I could not express the way I feel. Writing is the perfect outlet for me. I know I have been away for a while. All I can say is that I am back after going through some health difficulties which are now in control...thank God.
The rhyme is Iambic pentameter.
val
such a beautifully mastered sonnet... each phrase draws the reader into your words and totally relate to its plightful vestiges.
Thank you so much P'Darkly for reading this piece!
I prefer to write from my imagination, however, much of my writing is from experience. I was supposed to get married a year ago and I discovered I had made a mistake. He was not the man I remembered. So I had walked away. It wasn't easy. This sonnet reflects that emotional struggle.
val