Magical Or Deadly?

Dreams can be a beautiful wonderland,
full of fairies and magic all that you demand. 
For you, this may be wonderfully true.
But for me, those dreams would be new. 

The things I see while I sleep are haunted, 
By past memories that I never wanted.
I smell his putrid breath feel his horrid touch. 
See my best friend dead onto her I clutch.

Watch these people die hear their screeching yells.
All these memories that in my mind do dwell. 
Every time I sleep it's a gamble what I'll see. 
But all I know is that it will encase my misery.

Will end with me screaming for it to all stop.
With me falling to the ground on my knees I drop.
Begging for my mind to be set free.
maybe I could raise that gun and sleep eternally.

Restless nights of horrid dreams
the one way out could end these screams
So I pull that hard cold trigger and finally get some rest.
So that these horrid dreams my mind no longer possess.