A Mask

 "Anxiety, depression, sorrow, and darkness.
Locked inside never to be released.
Waves of overwhelming thoughts that drift
to pretend worlds and possibilities.
Always having a mask on so no one can see the pain
Sometimes having control over your thoughts and sometimes not.

Waking up never knowing how you are going to feel.
Anxiety? Depression? Or an actual ability
to function as a normal human being?
Sometimes it is a total rush.
Thoughts racing, thinking of all these great ideas and plans.
Feeling great but impossible to think rationally.

Eventually the mask is removed and the truth is revealed.
With the mask I appeared strong on the outside
but it was all an act.
I was so blinded by pain and numb to the world.
I thought I had control of it.

Soon people began to notice it in my eyes and in my voice.
I was no longer myself. It was like watching someone
I didn't know pretend to be me.
Making me do things i would not normally do.
I remember all of it from the beginning to end.
Every tear, person, all of it."