May I ask?

Is it who? Is it why?
Who are you? 
Who am I? 
I don't know you decide. 
Even though I'm still alive, a part of me wants to die, contemplating suicide.  
It saddens me I'm such a fool, what ever happened to just being cool? I will forever remember the mistakes I have made, I genuinely never meant to cause such pain. 
​Upon heavy shoulders I shoulder the blame for my involvement and role in this game. I'm not out for sympathy but I wish it were true that somehow you forgave me and helped discover the truth. Thanks for reading.